To die would be an awfully big adventure
by EricaJaney
Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter one**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever."**

Lance Armstrong

**Carlisle**

"Carlisle!" My father, Christopher Cullen, hollered as he walked through the door of our small home. His footsteps were heavy, his cane making the most noise as he shuffled towards me. My father was growing weaker with age, he refused to admit this, but anyone could see it.

He lead hunts through the and forest surrounding our homes, with a group of men from the village and fellow pastors he knew. They searched all night long, once every three days, for vampires, werewolves or witches.

My father taught me from the age of six that creatures such as the ones they hunted were the work of the devil. They were placed on earth to do his bidding, to cause pain and suffering, and were dammed to spend eternity condemned in hell for what they are. Fifteen years later, and my father continues to teach me these things. My mother died giving birth to me, and my father raised me alone, so I had no one else to turn to and ask questions.

I spent most of my time inside, reading. My father home-schooled me until I was eighteen, when I began teaching myself and extending my education. Rather than being outside, working or finding myself a woman to settle down with, like my father wanted me to do, I spent the days reading, studying, trying to better myself and trying to squeeze as much knowledge from the world around me as I could during my time alive.

"Get your head out of that book, boy!" He shouted, hitting me around the head with his cane. The wooden rod made sharp contact with my skull, sending a sharp jolt of pain through my head, feeling as though my brain had just been rattled. "You're leading the hunts tonight."

"Father, I honestly don't think that's the best idea." I replied, he knew my thoughts on hunting innocents and labelling them as 'guilty'.

"I didn't ask your opinion." He replied curtly. "You're twenty three years old now, Carlisle. It's time you played your part in society. When I die, someone has to take over protecting our town, and that someone is you, so start looking forward to the idea or you're going to lead a very lowly life. I'm going to take you out to the town square later on tonight; Timothy will show you what to do."

I merely replied with a nod, there was no use in arguing with my father. He was an old and powerful voice among the whispers of the town people. When my father's time comes and he passes on, I will be forced to take over his role in society, though his job is one I certainly would not wish to participate in. Helping people was my passion; I longed to become a doctor, to help people and to be able to save lives, though my dreams were farfetched.

I retired to my room for a while. The hunts take all night, from eight PM, when the sun sets, until six AM, when the sun returns and there was no time for sleeping. Anyone caught sleeping on the job would be shot in the foot to wake them up.

As I laid down and closed my eyes, listening to the noises of the busy people on the square outside. Children laughing as they played in the summer weather, woman chatting about their busy lives and men, eagerly talking about the hunt later on tonight, I began to dream.

My dream was clouded at first, different pictures playing through my mind, voices talking to me and other people, before it changed. The clouds, almost fog like, clouded my vision, before a figure stepped out of the mist.

She was small, slender with a pale face and dark eyes. Her soft brown hair framed her heart shaped face, giving her a very innocent and beautiful appearance. At first I only stared, my light blue eyes captured by her dark ones, but then I realised how rude I was being, even if she was only a pigment of my imagination, I shouldn't forget my manners in front of a lady. I bowed and took her hand in mine, placing a kiss on the back of it.

"Carlisle." She said softly, her voice as sweet as honey. "Be safe."

I raised my eyebrows questioningly, not completely understanding what she was saying.

"Whatever happens tonight is meant to be." She whispered before disappearing.

I woke to the sound of my father knocking very loudly on my door, sitting up I smoothed my hair until it looked presentable, slipped my feet back into the shoes by my bed and followed my father through the muddy roads to the centre of town.

The sun was setting, throwing light rays across the square and the statue of our town's founder, Clarence Reynolds.

"Men!" Timothy called, stepping on the base of the statue, his pitchfork high. "Tonight we capture a beast!" Hearing this, the men cheered loudly, waving their pitchforks and torches towards the sky. "For tonight, although Christopher Cullen steps down as our leader, his son and heir, Carlisle, will be leading us to victory!"

I was passed through the crowd, men patting me on the back and giving me looks of admiration until I was hoisted up next to Timothy. The men stared at me expectantly, twenty faces waiting for me to say something.

I stared at them for a moment before my father gave me a stern look from the back of the crowd, I picked a pitchfork up and held it high, as Timothy had done so before me. "Let's go kill the creatures!" The men cheered enthusiastically, gaining volume as Timothy and I led them into the woods.

"Your father confided in me with your feelings of the hunt." Timothy whispered as the men followed, chanting and waving goodbye to their families. "Just know, son. Out here, its kill or be killed."

As we travelled further into the now dark forest, the men quietened. The only sound was the rustling trees, and the deep breathing and heavy footsteps of the hunters following.

"What's that?" I whispered to Timothy, seeing something dripping down from a tree into the ground.

"Sewage system but everyone knows vampires live in the tallest trees." He replied, gesturing the men forward.

I looked into the hole in the earth, and heard dashing feet across the water below, too fast to be a mere human. "Listen!" I hissed quietly, causing the men to step around the hole and crouch down.

Before anyone had a chance to step away from the hole, figures, faster than lightening, leapt from the ground and began attacking the men. Some retreated and ran back towards the village. Some fought back, but their bodies fell to the floor before they had a chance to do any damage.

Before I could turn and join the men, I felt something push me to the ground. A pale face stared down at mine, cold, dark eyes locked with my blue ones. I was reminded of the girl from my dream before his face disappeared, sharp spikes pierced my neck and the weight of the creature was gone.

I wanted to scream out in agony, but some men were still fleeing, if they knew I was bitten but not dead they'd shoot me anyway. Once my surroundings were silent, although the pain was spreading and I was bleeding heavily, I managed to crawl away and found a nearby Potato cellar on the outskirts of town, to hide myself in.

As I lay among the vegetables, I felt a burning sensation in my chest, spreading through my veins slowly. The heat grew hotter, too hot, until I couldn't help it anymore and screamed out once, just once, in agony.

**So this is my new story. I said in my previous fanfiction "Forgotten Forever's" that I had no idea what to do when it's done… well here it is. I have decided to do my own version of the Cullen's stories.**

**The first few chapters will be in Carlisle's point of view, because it's him on his own until Edward and Esme come along, so sorry if you don't like the one person point of view thing. When more people come, I'll switch chapters.**

**You won't be waiting forever for an update, if you like this story that is, because I've got the first few chapters done and ready to update. Please review so I know that people would actually like me to update.**

**Quick note on "Forgotten Forever's":**

**I will be updating soon, I'm not going to rush through this next chapter because I want it to be very intense and have different emotional levels, if I can write them in anyway. Thanks for your patience.**

**I hope you enjoyed this first chapter.**

**EricaJaney.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**Why does shame and self-loathing become cruelty to the innocent?"**

Anne Rice

**Carlisle**

The pain lasted through the night, and the next day. On the second day of this pain, I had somehow managed to stay silent, although the urge to scream out was great. I could feel the sweat dampening my brow, and refused to open my eyes, knowing that any lapse in my concentration would cause me wither and cry out in both frustration and pain, something the excruciating feeling spreading through my veins wanted me to do. The only thing I could imagine that would be spreading through my veins would be venom, from the vampire who bit me. The venom moved slowly, twisting and turning through every nerve and sinew of my body, dripping slowly like honey.

The only thing that kept me sane, that kept me from completely loosing myself in the pain, was her voice.

"_Whatever happens tonight is meant to be."_

Was my subconscious trying to warn me of something, or was the beautiful woman in my head a part of something bigger?

I couldn't focus on that. Thinking about one thing was painful enough, but more would surely kill me. Instead of asking questions, instead of thinking about the who, what, when, where, why? Of it all, I decided to focus only on her face. Her sweet expression.

Even if she was just something I'd dreamt up out of exhaustion, or a mere pigment of my subconscious mind, she was still beautiful, and her beauty was something to hold on to.

When her face wasn't the only thing keeping me grounded anymore, I focused on other things. My father for instance. He was a strong willed, stubborn and sometimes cold man, but he was still a good father. After dealing with my mother's death and the stress of a child, he had to endure my adolescence and that wasn't a walk in the park for him.

As much as I loved and respected my father, he would do what was best for the community and that would be to kill me if he ever found me.

About an hour into the next, and what I hoped to be the final, day I heard noises outside the cellar, voices calling and talking to one another.

"Carlisle!" A voice I recognised as my fathers called. "Where are you son?"

I stayed silent, my father was right outside the cellar and if I moved, screamed or even breathed, he would most likely hear me, find me, and destroy me.

"Christopher." A second voice, most likely my father's friend Timothy, said. "It's time to give up, we've been searching for days, my men are tired and other people have family missing too. Let's just pray the beast was merciful and ended it quickly for Carlisle."

"You're right, old friend." My father replied. "Carlisle is with his mother now."

So I wasn't dead from the pain, and burning in hell. I was still very much alive, the flames of hell licking at my body, causing me to thrash noiselessly.

It was probably only hours, but felt like days later when the pain started to lift from my toes and fingers. It moved slowly, the pain leaving very slowly, but it was leaving, the pain had to end soon.

The fire that was once creeping through my veins moved swiftly to my throat, making me feel thirsty. No, more than that. Parched, dry as a bone and dehydrated were all good words, but none described the aching feeling in the base of my throat.

While I was pondering the correct to use to describe the feeling, my heartbeat picked up, faster than before, beating out a erythema that had to be faster than anything I had seen or heard of before. The pain from other areas of my body moved, leaving me feeling cool and pain-free but it retreated to my heart, still beating at a furious speed, and blazed like the sun.

I continued to feel this new pain before my heart took off, much faster than before, feeling like it would gnaw through my ribcage at any moment. The heat that was being pumped around the organ sucked the remaining fire from the rest of my body, using it to fuel itself as it blazed ever hotter than before. The battle between the heat and the speed of my heart continued, reaching a scale that would have clearly killed me before.

My heart made a hollow thud, stuttered a few times, and then thudded for one last time.

There was no more sound. No more pain. No more heat.

Was I dead?

Slowly and cautiously I opened my eyes and looked around. I was still in the potato cellar, and I certainly wasn't dead. Gingerly I rose, feeling more graceful than ever before in my life, and gently pushed the door to open. The door shuddered, groaned and fell of the hinges, onto the floor, a large dent in the middle of it, where I had pushed.

I had only pushed it gently. Was I stronger now than before?

It was dark outside, clearly night and the clouds had blocked some of the night sky and stars. My vision was clearer, so much sharper than before. I could see every detail on a tree about a mile away from me.

Moving seemed so effortless now and I could think of so many more things, and still remember them at once. Looking down on the fallen door I wanted to test something. It had always been in my nature to be curious about things, and my curiosity won this time.

I removed my gaze from the door, all of the details of which I could see with exact clarity, and turned to the nearest tree. Wanting to make sure I didn't make a fool out of myself, I scanned my surroundings quickly; I saw nothing and could smell only the forest around me. The scents of the forest were mixed with a stale scent, obviously an old one, which made my throat tingle. The overwhelming urge to track down the scent and devour whatever created such a scent was strong, but I replaced my focus on the tree in front of me. Bracing myself, I placed my hands against the trunk and pushed.

The tree fell down with a loud and hard thud on the floor. I tried again on another tree, this time using one hand, the tree fell down lighter this time but still fell. Once more I tried to push the tree down, this time using only one finger. The last tree fell as the other two before him.

Grinning like a child on Christmas day I couldn't handle my excitement. From a young age I was taught that if anyone was ever bitten by a vampire, they would feel the flames of hell and die, this was something new altogether.

The fact that I was now one of the vampires was obvious. And, as exciting as the experience seemed to me, I was a damned creature. Vampires go to hell and cause others pain. They fed on the blood of humans and had no souls, I didn't want to be a `creature ruled by bloodlust but the fire in my throat ached for the relief that only human blood could give.

I turned on my heel and ran as fast as I could away from the cellar, the scent of my father and Timothy mixed together teased my throat. I noticed from the tress speeding past me, becoming blurs as I ran, that I was running at an abnormal speed.

I stopped by a river, smelling the water and forest rather than humans, and cleared my head. However exciting being a vampire seemed, I was still doomed to walk the earth alone, causing pain to whoever crossed my path. I sighed heavily, even though just breathing was unnecessary now, and looked into the slow moving water.

What I saw made me jump up and stand in a protective stance automatically. The face staring back at me was still mine, the same nose, ears, mouth and hair but my eyes were no longer the colour of the summer sky. Instead they were now a piercing red colour, brighter than any I had seen before.

I looked back into the river, into my eyes.

The eyes of a monster.

**And this is the second chapter. This A/N wont be long, because it's late and I'm tired. **

**I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please review, they make me smile! :)**

**EricaJaney**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**A suicide kills two people, Maggie, that's what it's for!"**

Arthur Miller

**Carlisle**

It took me a few days to fully accept that there was no way I could turn back the pages of time and relive the last week, to change it so I didn't become the monster sitting among the rocks within the forest near the town I had grown up in.

After acceptance, came the depression. I had never been depressed before, it was a feeling I hoped to never encounter again. The emotion pushed down on me, making me feel heavier than before, making every step I took feel like a thousand tons.

I accepted who I was, I accepted my nature and the fact that I could never see my father again, but what I couldn't accept was being a monster.

The only way out of a monstrous life, was to end it.

First I tried to drown myself in a pond I found hidden deep in the woods. It was deep enough that, when I stood under the water, my head was still covered. I held my breath for three hours and fifty eight minutes; obviously vampires didn't need to breathe to survive. If they did my heart would still be beating, but as it wasn't and no oxygen was needed, breathing was irrelevant to a vampires survival.

Secondly I tried jumping off a cliff I found near the ocean, about one hundred miles away from where I was turned. As I stood on the edge, I knew that if I was granted my wish, if I died on impact at the bottom, then no blood would be spilled on my part. I was all too eager to end my existence, to rid myself of the flames licking the inside of my throat. I jumped.

As the wind sailed through my hair and I fell down the cliff, watching the ground below come closer, I began to think that my existence would really end at the bottom. My final jump.

Disappointment flooded me once I landed on the bottom, standing, with a light thud. Drowning and jumping off a cliff were ruled out. I hadn't tried stabbing myself but getting a knife would require me to go back home, to where the humans thought I was dead, and I was pretty sure something as simple as a weapon wouldn't damage my rock like skin anyway.

That was yesterday, and today I have come up with a completely new idea of how to kill myself.

Starvation.

It was simple; all I was required to do was sit inside this cave, far away from human contact and allow my thirst to take me away from this damned life. It has been exactly a month since my change, I haven't drunk anything at all, and although the thirst was killing me from the inside, on the outside I was proud. Families were still intact and no humans had died at my hands, no matter how tempting their blood was to my thoughts and fantasies of me killing them and draining them of their blood.

Fantasising about drinking human blood was such an enjoyment while it was happening but afterwards all I felt was guilt. Humans, even the fictional ones in my mind, had hopes and dreams, fears and troubles, lives to live and each and every one of them had a right to experience it.

Who was I to take away a life that was not mine to take?

The fire in my throat burned harder, making me hit the wall in frustration. I had seen my reflection in the river once more; my eyes were as dark as the midnight sky and twice as threatening.

Death could take me whenever, I would go willingly.

The rain poured down heavily, but the cave protected me from the drops. The world around me was silent, only the dripping of rain invaded my ears. I took one daring breath, keeping my eyes firmly closed.

A beautiful scent filled my nostrils, not as sweet smelling as the one I had first encountered, but still enough to make the fire in my throat roar. I imagined myself standing, allowing the scent to pull me towards it. I could see my hands landing on the creature, my teeth cutting through muscle, tendons and bones as though they were butter. I could almost taste the blood.

It was only when the fire in my throat dulled and I heard a carcass fall to the ground that I realised I hadn't been imagining it at all, I had been doing this. I opened my eyes slowly, ready to face the empty expression of the life I had just destroyed, the family I had torn apart, when I saw nothing more than a dead deer's empty eyes staring lifelessly into the distance. I hadn't killed a human at all.

Leaving the carcass on the floor I raced back towards the river, a place I usually sat to ponder my thoughts when nothing was around. I looked into the clear water, my eyes were no longer black but were now a yellowy colour, a few more years of this diet would surely turn them golden, almost the colour of my hair.

There was another way.

**Another chapter! Yay!**

**Please review and tell me what you think, or any ideas you may have. I can't wait to get the other Cullen's involved soon, but sadly for now, Carlisle is all alone. Poor thing.**

**Could I possibly have more reviews? If I get five I promise I'll update sooner than I would before. I already have the chapter almost ready.**

**Please review!**

**EricaJaney**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter four**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**Time heals griefs and quarrels, for we change and are no longer the same persons."**

Pascal

**Two hundred years later.**

**Carlisle**

Two hundred years into this life. Each passing day is easy, but being alone is hard. I've passed covens, like Maggie, Siobhan and Liam, an Irish coven I stayed with for a while and grew close to while I was travelling. I've met so many wonderful people during the time I've travelled around the world, and I'm sure many of the people I've met I'll keep with me in my heart for the rest of my existence like the Irish Coven, and a few nomads I'd met along the way, whom I shared stories with and had a laugh with. It was nice to have someone to talk to after wandering the world alone for so long, so many of the people I had met, both covens and nomads, agreed that being alone wasn't easy and offered me a place with them, but I always denied and said I'd find a place to be soon enough.

I'd be a nomad if I didn't settle in little town sometimes to study medicine. After two hundred years I was finally following my dream and studying to become a doctor, at least now I was able to help people and give back.

Over the years of sticking to my animal diet, my eyes had turned a golden colour, a few shades darker than my light blonde hair. My bloodlust was almost completely gone now, I was happy to be able to mix with humans again.

My father and friends were long dead. My father had passed away about seven years after I was turned, and I was happy that my bloodlust was under enough control for me to visit him just once before he died.

"_Father." I greeted my dad, walking into his small bedroom, thankfully he was alone._

_My father's eyes popped open for a moment before he coughed loudly. "Carlisle?" He gasped. "You died seven years ago, have you come to take this old soul to heaven?"_

"_A part of me died seven years ago." I said kindly. "But I'm not here to take you to heaven, you've got to go there alone and tell mother I say hi. I just came here once to tell you that you don't have to worry dad, you can die in peace because you raised me right and what happened that night seven years ago wasn't your fault."_

"_I shouldn't have sent you there so soon."_

"_You sent me there at the time you thought I was ready, I just wasn't ready enough to fill your shoes." I responded. "I'm happy, dad. That's all you need to know for now and I'm going to become a doctor, to help people even when I couldn't be helped."_

"_Son…" Father wheezed out, coughing slightly as he took my cold hand in his warm one. I could feel his pulse vibrating. "I love you. I haven't told you it very much, but I do. Find yourself someone to make you as happy as your mother made me. I don't care if you are one of those creatures. You're my son, and that's all that matters."_

"_I love you, too." I managed to whisper before his grip lessened and he slipped from the world. "Goodbye dad."_

One hundred and ninety three years later and I feel like a better person. I may be a vampire, but denying myself the chance to help others would be a sin. Obviously this happened for a reason, even if it was random that night I was bitten, and I had the chance to do what no vampire before me could. Save lives rather than take them.

Maybe saving human lives will help me redeem myself, maybe not, but either way helping people is what I was born to do.

The beautiful woman still played in my mind. The memory of her was fuzzy now, my human memory wasn't as clear as this vampire one, but I didn't forget her soft voice, how reassuring it was and how delicate.

Maybe this woman was someone I could meet in the future, someone I could admire, but then again she might just be something my subconscious decided to create to tease me. The woman was stunning but she would never be mine, she belonged somewhere else, with someone else.

No one could ever love a soulless vampire.

On a lighter note my medical expertise was getting better. Hopefully I would be able to heal people and save those who would have otherwise been lost. Maybe one day I'll stumble across other vampires like me, but I couldn't relish the idea of condemning another person to this existence, not only would that be wrong but they could hate me for it. I have never hated my creator, whoever he or she may be, but that doesn't mean another vampire wouldn't hate me.

One day I could find others like me to spend by existence with, but if I don't then solitude isn't a bad thing. I could perfect my medical skills once and for all and better myself.

Putting down my book I looked around the little library I was seated in. Two hundred years later and they still stared. I was given admiring looks wherever I went and tried my best to ignore them or to smile back as politely as I could before continuing on my way.

I liked this library, it was small and had good books for me to read but there were always people who stared. I didn't mind it; getting lost in my books was my solitude.

But most of the time I found myself looking back at the woman before looking away and sighing to myself. I was looking for her. I was looking for the same sweet smiled, dimple faced, adorable woman I had dreamt of all those years ago.

Always looking for her.

**I promised a fourth chapter for reviews, and here it is.**

**I hope you enjoy it, thank you for the reviews.**

**Just a quick note to "Spellcheck" sorry hun, my sentence was correct, yours was not.**

**Please review :)**

**EricaJaney**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student as long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life."**

Henry L. Doherty

**Carlisle**

I found my place in Italy soon enough. It was a place full of rich culture and knowledge. There was so much to be learned from just wandering the city streets at night. I travelled through Italy, better myself in knowledge and wound up in Volterra, one of the most beautiful cities I had ever visited. It was a calm and historical place, with so many beautiful features, even if I could only experience them at night.

One night I was sitting by the large fountain in the middle of the Clock tower square, writing down some new things I had learned about medicine from visiting the hospital, and some things I had learned about Volterra on a pocket sized note book when a small voice interrupted me.

I looked up to see a little girl, dressed in a olive green dress with white sleeves and a short black cloak billowing behind her slightly in the night wind, her blonde hair was pulled into a tight bun on the back of her head and her face was cold. I would have thought she was a local girl, had her skin not have been as white as snow and her eyes as red as the roses that framed the courtyard.

"I am Jane." The child had a voice wise for her years. "You must come with me."

I raised an eyebrow at her, silently asking for more information.

"Human, or vampire?" She asked. "Your eyes are not like a vampire but you have no heartbeat or human scent, lucky too or you'd be dinner."

"Where would I be following you to?"

Jane's face stiffened slightly, obvious she wasn't used to being questioned. "My masters. The Volturi. We are vampire leaders; I shall tell you more when we are inside."

I placed the notepad inside my pocket and followed the girl across the square into the clock tower building. She led me down the halls to a staircase. After descending it, we were in a long hallway, decorated with the best arts and artefacts. Jane pushed open the large door at the end of the hall, leading me into an open room. It was marble all over with a small platform where three wise looking men sat on thrones. Other vampires were scattered around the room. Jane left me standing in front of the three men and went to stand next to a boy who looked her age.

"Who is this, you've brought, sister dear?" The boy inquired.

"Just someone I thought Aro would like to meet, Alec." She replied.

One of the men, who sat in the throne furthest forward, stepped down and stood in front of me. He clasped his hands in the way an excited child would, his ruby eyes gleaming as he smiled.

"Extraordinary," He breathed. "You're clearly a vampire but you have eyes I have never seen before. What is your name?"

"Carlisle Cullen." I replied, suspiciously watching the strange man.

"What makes your eyes the colour of toffee, Carlisle?" He asked.

"Aro, must we bother ourselves with this?" The man with long blonde hair asked.

"Please Caius; it is my thirst for knowledge." Aro smiled kindly at me.

"I don't have the normal vampire diet, I don't feed from humans."

"What do you feed from then?"

"Animals."

A few of the vampires chuckled before Aro silenced them. "Amazing, and this animal diet makes your eyes that colour?" He reached for my hand. "May I? I have the gift of tactile telepathy you see."

I allowed him to take my hand in his and watched as he closed his eyes, the marvelled expression still on his face. Once he released my hand his grin widened. "Studying medicine, but how do you control the bloodlust?"

"Years of practice." I said

"You must join us." Aro exclaimed. "Become a member of our coven, though you have no special abilities you've had so much experience from the world around you, and I wish to know more about this animal diet you have."

It was months later, nearly a year into my life with the Volturi, when I witnessed why they were feared and made me wonder more why no covens had mentioned them to me. I was standing with Aro the balcony of the clock tower; we had grown quite fond of each other and became good friends, when Caius came to stand out with us, his face grim.

I had learned from experience that Aro was a loyal person, he was intelligent and enjoyed the simple things in life. Marcus had a different outlook on life, his opinions, though mostly optimistic, were covered with a slight gloom I couldn't fathom. Caius was a very sadistic person, he enjoyed others pain and whenever he brought news, it was always bad.

Jane was to be avoided when she had a tantrum and Alec was the only one able to calm her down properly. Felix was one who enjoyed a laugh, and certainly someone who could brighten your day.

"Felix and Demetri brought you the traitor." Caius said simply, before turning and leaving.

"The hardest thing about this life." Aro sighed sadly. "Is that rule breakers must be punished."

"There must always be someone to enforce that though." I reminded him.

"That is true, dear friend." He nodded. "Shall we?"

I nodded and followed Aro through into the main hallway. Caius and Marcus were sitting on their thrones already, Marcus wore his usual bored expression as he stared mindlessly at the ceiling, where I knew he was staring out of the glass windows that patterned the marble there. Caius was sitting straight, his red eyes focused on the scene in front of him.

The rest of the guard were somewhere else. Only Felix, Demetri, Alec and Jane stood in the main room. Felix and Demetri were on either side of a weary looking vampire, holding him so he couldn't escape, even if he tried his hardest. Alec was standing by the back door, his eyes glancing from the vampire and the doors every so often, possibly contemplating the vampires chances of escaping and his chances of stopping it. Jane stood in front of the vampire, to the side a little, leaving room for Aro to do what he felt he was a part of his "duty". I stood next to Aro's throne as he slipped his black robe over his clothes and stood in front of the frightened vampire.

"Please." The vampire begged, his long hair falling in his eyes. "I didn't mean to. Please don't. I have a mate."

"There are no exceptions for those who break the rules." Jane said clearly, something I had heard she enjoyed quoting in these moments. Jane seemed like a very sadistic child to many people, more so than her brother, but I felt that somewhere deep, deep inside of her, beyond her sadistic tendencies, she was really just a confused child who didn't know better than what she was created to do.

Aro said nothing, but I knew he was smiling as his hands clamped around the vampires neck. He might be able to say that doing things such as these wasn't something he enjoyed, and no one would dare question it, but the small smiles and sometimes full blown grins gave him away. Aro beheaded the vampire at the same time Felix and Demetri pulled each of his arms out. I looked away, not wanting to witness what was happening, but that didn't stop me hearing the small scream before it was stopped.

"Burn the pieces." Aro said coldly.

As much as being a part of a coven made me feel accepted, I didn't understand their ways of justice. I knew what the rules were and wouldn't disobey them, but that didn't mean I should want to witness justice being served.

Everyone makes mistakes, but with the Volturi, your first mistake could be your last.

_**Hey everyone**_

_**I first wanted to start off by saying thank you so much for every single one of my reviews. I love anyone and everyone who reviews or reads (or even both! :D) I know reviewing can be boring and it means a lot to me that you take time out to encourage me so much.**_

_**There are important key moments within the story of the Cullen's and I can assure you, I shall try my hardest not to leave any out. I'm using different twilight wiki pages to ensure I note down every point and the time it was in. I'm making up my own points too as I go along so I apologise if any dates are wrong.**_

_**A big thank you to Mandey and Charlotte, two of the greatest friends I could ever ask for. I make you two read every chapter I write and ask for feedback, I actually can't express the amount of love I have for both of you. You two keep me going.**_

_**Thank you for reading and reviewing. **_

_**EricaJaney.**_


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter six**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**This is the time to remember because it will not last forever; these are the days to hold onto because we won't although we want to."**

Billy Joel

**Carlisle**

I sighed almost silently and turned my head to the side, to stare at the tapestry on the wall. It was times like these when I regretted joining the Volturi and becoming a part of their coven. When you could hear the vicious growls of the Guard, and sometimes even the leaders, throughout the spacious room. When you could hear the helpless screams of the humans before they died, not like anything could help them once the large wooden doors had closed. And on the rare occasion when you could hear a single drop of blood fall to the floor, echoing inside your mind.

I wore the Volturi crest around my neck, just like every other member of the coven, but I never felt less like one of them than at dinner time. They fed once every three days, they'd bring humans in to "show them the artefacts" and would feed on them when the sound of their hearts beating became too much.

Heidi was in charge of "fishing" with her good looks she was stunning, even for a vampire, and she used these looks to her advantage, luring in unsuspecting humans to their dooms. It was mostly large men she brought down here, the larger the human the bigger the heart and the more blood.

"Would you like to join us, friend?" Aro asked, standing in the midst of all the ciaos. Some humans were left, huddled in the corner like cattle by Jane and Alec. Aro's eyes were a brighter red now, he looked satisfied.

I politely shook my head, though I didn't agree with Aro and the way normal vampires fed, I didn't want to be on Aro's bad side. "No thank you, Aro." Even if the human's heart beats longed for me to satisfy the beast with in, although I could see the human's pulses, beating under their paper thin skin, I had long since learned to ignore the call of human blood.

"I do wish you'd get over this phase already, Carlisle." He responded, gesturing towards the humans. "It's who you are to drink human blood. Satisfying your thirst with animals will not seem appealing to you forever."

Aro had once requested that I take him with me hunting. I took him into the small forest surrounding Volterra and he caught an elk. Whilst walking home, his eyes slightly more orange than red, he had confided in me that elk blood wasn't as sweet as a humans. That was five years in the past, and Aro hadn't fed off animals since.

"This is your way of life, Aro. Not mine." I answered, standing and walking towards Aro. "This is my lifestyle, it's what I choose to do. I do not want to become a murderer, my apologies." The Volturi leader nodded, respecting my choice, and I left, heading towards my room.

Dinner time was over and the guard had scattered around the castle. I passed Jane's room, a place I had never entered and didn't plan on going into in the future, she was standing by her bed, her eyes focused on the open window opposite her. Slowing down my pace slightly I noticed she was smiling sadistically as a bird came in through her window and fell to the floor, withering in pain.

I passed Alec's room next. He was in there with Chelsea, playing a game. Alec was considerably nicer than his sister, you could indulge in a very intelligent conversation with the boy when he was in a good mood, but whenever his mood slipped he would take away every sense of anyone he passed and refused to give them back until his mood had lightened.

"Marco!" He called, flittering quickly to stand on his bed.

"Polo!" Chelsea replied as she bumped into the bed frame. Alec had probably blinded her properly so she didn't cheat.

"Marc- Oh, hey Carlisle!" He greeted me, smiling as he dodged his friends grasp once more. "Want to play?"

"I'm alright, but thanks for the offer, Alec." I smiled back at the boy before moving on and going into my room, closing the door behind me.

My room was reasonably sized, a desk in front of the wide windows and bookcases stretching around the room, I had no bed, for I had no use for it. I had a sofa though, a place good to read.

I tried to lose myself in one of the novels I enjoyed reading, but my thoughts kept creeping back to the screams of the humans and the smell of their blood. I could always leave the room when it happened, but I could still hear the horror and knew it was still happening, the coven I was a part of being the cause of the pain.

They tried in vain to convert me away from my "natural food source", as I tried to convert them but neither of us were willing to change what we'd done all our vampire lives.

"Carlisle, dear friend, can we talk?" Aro asked from the door that had crept open seconds ago.

"Of course, Aro." I replied, closing my book and standing as he closed the door.

Aro walked closer to me. "I can tell you're not happy here."

"It isn't that." I told him honestly. "I appreciate all you've done for me, and I've enjoyed your company very much it's just…"

"Your diet." He answered for me. "It's alright; I know you want to leave because it causes pain for you to be here when we feed. Just remember Carlisle that you are welcome here any time you wish to return."

"Thank you." I replied. "You, Caius and Marcus have been good company over the years."

"As have you, dear friend." Aro smiled. "As have you. Perhaps we'll meet again someday, until then good luck with your life."

Aro turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. I sighed; it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me. Although I had enjoyed being in the Volturi coven, and the times I had enjoyed with them, I couldn't stay with a coven who killed humans not only for food, but for fun.

Perhaps one day I would find another vegetarian coven, or make one of my own, until that day, or even if it never came, I would be fine. I had learned all I could from the Volturi and felt ready to set into the new world, to help people and to fulfil my purpose.

_**Hey guys!**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to update, I've been super busy, but it's here now.**_

_**Thank you so much for all the reviews, they've been amazing.**_

_**Just a quick note to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my sister Aimee, who turns eighteen tomorrow! We're going out for a meal, so I won't be updating tomorrow.**_

_**Thank you for reading, please review!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter seven**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**It's true that we don't know what we've got until we've lost it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives."**

Unknown

**Date:** 16th January, 1911.

**Esme Anne Platt**

Climbing trees wasn't exactly counted as "ladylike", then again neither was I.

Growing up in Columbus, Ohio, as the only daughter of a couple of farmers wasn't that hard, not much was expected from you apart from hard work and respect for those with "higher class jobs" but when your grandfather fought in the wars and came home to be hailed a hero, a little more was expected of you. My brothers Richard, who was two years older than me, and Anthony, who was four years older than me, helped my parents out as much as they could around the farm but somehow, making ends meet, even with Grandpa getting free stuff around town, was hard.

Richard was courting Charlotte, the milkman's daughter, and was planning on proposing to her soon. I liked Charlotte; she was sweet and pretty, with long brown hair and dark brown eyes, she also enjoyed reading as much as I so we always had very animated discussions when she came round to visit my brother. Whenever mother and father didn't need help with the animals or crops, you could find him with Charlotte almost every time.

Anthony was already married to Lucille, his former girlfriend of the past three years, and the two of them lived in town, about a ten minute car ride from our small farm on the outskirts of town. They had a son together called Matthew; he was about a year old now and simply adorable, with curly brown locks and big blue eyes.

My brother's success with their families is what put such intense pressure on me. My mother was always trying to persuade me to go out with some of the boys in the city, mainly because they came from well-respected and wealthy backgrounds and seemed to show an interest in me.

"I want to marry for love not money!" I had told her once, after she had tried to set me up with yet another banker's son.

"There's no such thing these days, you'll marry who we say you'll marry, and I'll not hear another word on the subject!" She had scolded me.

Now as I stared at the Oak tree that stood broadly in one of the fields surrounding our home, I wondered why I hadn't climbed it sooner. Not only would it be a great place for me to read, not to mention being a great sightseeing place, but it would also annoy my mother and that was always a bonus.

I hitched up my skirts and placed my foot in one of the groves in the bark. Letting go of the silk fabric I climbed higher into the tree, using the branches to hoist myself up. I heard Richard calling me in the distance but I didn't stop, with the book between my teeth, I was nearly at the branch I wanted to sit upon.

"Esme, where are you?" So Richard had Charlotte with him, and she was looking for me as well.

As soon as I was sitting on the branch, swinging my legs as a light breeze fluttered through my caramel coloured hair, I could see nearly our entire farm. My brother Anthony was ploughing the field opposite, my father was feeding the pigs and my mother and Lucille were hanging out washing while little Matthew sat on the porch in my sleeping grandfathers arms.

Just as I opened my favourite book, Jane Eyre, to the part where Jane gets locked in the room in which her uncle died, and panics after having visions of him, I heard Richard's confident voice from the gate that led into the field.

"She's over here, Charlotte!" He called, running through the field towards the tree. "Esme, get down you could fall!"

Charlotte was by his side shortly, her long gloves falling down her arms and her hat nearly hanging off her head from running. "He's right Esme, you don't want to fall!"

"That's not really part of my plan!" I called down, not taking my eyes off the page. "I just want some peace and quiet, you know, to read!" I was hoping they'd get the hint.

"Either you get down, or I'll come up and get you." Richard threatened.

I sighed and placed my book under my arm. There were plenty of other places to read, the barn for example, where I would not be disturbed by my brother or his girlfriend.

Standing up on the branch I finally realised that I was quiet high up. Heeding my brothers warning about falling, I tried to regain my balance before taking a weary step. Everything was going quite well until I accidently stepped on an obviously weaker bit of the branch.

Falling through the air would have been fun, feeling the wind whistling through my hair, before I landed hard in the field. After hitting my head and letting it fall to the side I saw the branch I had moments ago been standing on, a few steps away from me, so the sickening snap hadn't been from the bark. It had been from me.

**Carlisle**

It had been a slow day at the hospital. Only a few cuts, grazes and check-ups throughout the day. I had been happier than before now that I had my medical degree and could finally help people without too much temptation being placed in my way. I wasn't ready to preform surgeries yet though, that would be pushing the limit of how much blood I could smell before going crazy.

"Dr. Cullen, I know you've just moved here and probably don't know many people, but the Platt's are a couple who live just outside of town. Their little girl fell from a tree today and hurt herself quite badly, Dr Melrose is out sick today and I was wondering if you might be able to see to Miss Platt." Amanda, the receptionist at Columbus Memorial Hospital, told me, standing in the doorway of my office after knocking.

"I'd be more than happy to." I smiled, getting up and following Amanda towards the waiting lobby.

I'd expected to see a small child, maybe a girl of about seven or eight years of age, not the young woman who stood in front of me, supported by a young man and a young woman. Miss Platt had the same soft features and kind face, even when grimacing in pain, as…

I cleared my head and took the young woman's place in supporting Miss Platt. After we were all in the private ward, Miss Platt seated on the bed and the two who had brought her in were sitting in chairs opposite the room, I got my chart out and started with the procedure.

"Hello, Miss Platt." I smiled gently at her. "My name is Doctor Cullen, and I will be looking after you today, but you can call me Carlisle, Doctor Cullen is a bit formal. Now I understand you had a bit of a misunderstanding with a tree."

"It would certainly seem that way, Do- Carlisle." She replied in a small voice. So much like…

"Well this should hopefully ease the pain for a little while." I replied kindly, giving her a small injection to ease her agony.

I watched in silent humour as her cheeks flushed from my touch, causing her cream skin to glow slightly.

"Will she be alright, Doc?" The young man asked me. "My mother will kill me if I don't get her home in one piece."

"I can guarantee now, Richard that I will be going home in one piece." She smiled slightly at him.

"Well, Charlotte and I will be in the lobby. We don't want to make this an anymore painful experience for you." He said as he and the other young woman left the room.

"May I?" I asked, indicating that I needed to lift her skirt up a bit to examine her leg better. After receiving a nod from her I saw that she had taken quiet the tumble. Not wanting to scare her though, I kept the subject away from her accident. "Are they your siblings?"

"That was my brother, Richard. The girl, Charlotte, is his girlfriend. She feels like a sister to me though, and she's the closest I'm going to get to one, unless there's something my other brother Anthony isn't telling me." Even in pain she managed to crack a joke. "Do you have siblings, Carlisle?"

"No, unfortunately it's just me. I don't mind though, it's never really been anything I've been concerned about." I replied, my cold fingers moving swiftly around her warm leg, trying to make sure the news I had to give her was one hundred percent necessary. "I'm sorry, Miss Platt but I'm going to have to reset the bone. It will heal better that way."

"It's quiet alright, Carlisle. I thought for a moment you were going to tell me you had to amputate." She laughed quietly before turning her grey coloured orbs onto me. "And please, call me Esme."

Esme. A beautiful name for a beautiful young woman.

I reset the bone as quickly as I could, not wanting to cause any pain that wasn't needed. She didn't make a noise, but her eyes watered slightly. I handed her my handkerchief to dry her tears on, not that I needed it, but it kept up human appearances.

"You'll be alright to go home now, Esme." I told her as I bandaged her leg up. "Try not to put weight on it too much, and rest plenty. I want you to come back in a week for a check-up and sooner if you feel any signs of dizziness or nausea."

"I will, Carlisle." She replied, accepting my arm to help her up, her cheeks flushed again. "Thank you, so much for your help and for being so kind to me. It's not every day you find a Doctor who is as handsome as he is kind."

I smiled at her for the flattery, from what I could already tell she was a very cheeky person but in all the right ways. After watching her leave with her brother and Charlotte I realised she still had the handkerchief. The thought made me chuckle as I clocked off and went home after a very… eventful day.

_**Hey guys,**_

_**It's me! Back from… well I haven't actually been anywhere.**_

_**I really appreciate the reviews I've been receiving, especially those who review nearly every chapter.**_

_**Please do send me more though, yes I'm greedy, but they make me happy :)**_

_**EricaJaney**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing."**

Theodore Roosevelt

**Carlisle**

I worked through the next few days easily, working was something I enjoyed, and it wasn't like I had anyone to go home to. It pained me to know that every time I went home to an empty house, to hear my footsteps echo off the floorboards or the clock ticking, and I was supposed to be resting, that lives were at stake. I couldn't sleep even if I wanted to, and I often forgot that and worked constantly. If I could, I would work at the hospital as much as I could, saving as many lives as possible but if I did that other doctors would become suspicious. As they had in the days after Esme Platt left the hospital.

"Doctor Cullen, you've been working forty eight hours nonstop, go home and rest." Doctor Morgan, a Doctor whose office was fairly close to mine and I passed break hours chatting politely with, told me and I realised he was right.

Ever since Esme had gone home I hadn't been thinking entirely straight. She was young, only sixteen years of age according to her records, but she was already so beautiful. With big grey eyes and soft caramel hair, it was hard to not find her attractive but she was young and my patient even if I did catch myself thinking about her often, more often than I should.

Even though I could force myself to let go of the image of her smiling in my mind, her dimples winking at me as she did so, I couldn't forget her scent. It was a comforting mixture of jasmine and vanilla, a strong enough scent to leave me in a daze, but not so strong that it was completely over powering.

"I'll get some rest soon." I muttered in reply, signing Mr Patterson's release form and trying to gather my thoughts after remembering the Platt girls beautiful scent.

"Make sure you do." He said sternly, looking at me from behind his glasses. Doctor Morgan was one of the older doctors who worked at Columbus Memorial, he was kind and supportive and very, very wise. His brown hair was flecked with grey and he had confided in me that he had started working here at the age of thirty, twenty years in the past, and had never met a Doctor as young as I. That had made me chuckle, seeing as I was older than his grandfather.

After Mr Patterson had been released after his arm surgery and I had finished my rounds I had no choice but to leave the hospital and give the humans the illusion that I was resting.

I couldn't recall the last time this house had felt so big, sure it wouldn't be counted as large for a human family, but for one person it was plenty of room to relax in, and feel lonely in.

Solitude was sometimes a good thing, it gave me a chance to think and to contemplate everything that had happened during the day but it was a curse as much as a blessing. There was sometimes when I regretted that, because of who I became two hundred or so years ago, I would never come home to a loving wife and kids. I hadn't thought about children before my change, but now that I would never become a father, even if I wanted it more than anything and sometimes thinking about that stung a bit.

"_You could have a loving wife" _A synonyms voice from the back of my mind told me. _"You'd just have to be patient and wait a few years."_

I picked a large medical book from the table near the door and slammed it back down loudly, breaking the binding on the book and the legs on the table at the same time. It may have broken some meaningless items, but the voice had vanished from the back of my mind.

"She's sixteen." I told myself, looking at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was messy from where I had been running my hands through it constantly. "She's a child. You cannot have feelings for a child."

I realised shortly after entering the living room, with slight disappointment, that it wasn't feelings that I felt for her like a man who liked a woman would have. I felt attached to her, in the way that I wanted to watch over her as she grew up, and maybe start a relationship with her one day, but for now I wanted to protect her, no matter what.

The way I felt towards Esme was dangerous. A delicate, sweet child, who had her whole life ahead of her, should have nothing to do with a bloodthirsty vampire. Esme was human, she deserved to live life, to learn, to grow, and I wasn't going to stand in her way.

No, the best thing to do would be to leave. To move away and start again, somewhere new, where I wouldn't be putting Esme's life at risk. I couldn't leave without telling the hospital though, or her.

"First things first, selling the house." I muttered to myself.

Within a few hours, the house was for sale, my resignation was handed in, the hospital thought I'd been offered a job closer to where my family was, and my last day was the day of Esme's appointment.

**Four days later.**

I'd had many farewells and cards from my colleges, even if I had only been there a few weeks, they were all lovely people and I enjoyed my time here. I was in my office when there was a small knock at the closed door.

"Come in." I said, putting my paperwork to one side and looking up as the door opened.

Esme's kind face lit up in a smile as she closed the door behind her, she was still using the crutches but she seemed to be placing more weight on her leg as she walked.

I smiled in return. "Please take a seat." I gestured to the small hospital bed that was in my office.

She sat down, the smile not leaving her face as I checked over her leg and changed her bandages. "You know, Carlisle." She began softly. "I don't think I can ever thank you enough for everything you've done for me."

"I'm just doing my job." I replied politely, my cold fingers working quickly.

"Well, I am ever so thankful. I always will be."

"Esme… I'm afraid I have some bad news." I unnecessarily cleared my throat. "Today is my last day here, I'm moving away. Chicago hospital gave me an offer I couldn't refuse."

"Oh… I-I understand." She mumbled sadly.

After I finished changing her bandages, I stood up. "Your leg should be fully healed within a few weeks. Try to avoid falling from trees from now on, Esme. It seems they're not very fond of you." I chuckled lightly.

She looked up at me, her sad grey eyes making me melt slightly. "I'll miss you. Please come back one day."

"I'll try Esme. I'll never forget you." I leant forward and pressed my cold lips to her warm forehead. As I helped her up, I saw a couple of crystal clear tears run down her cheeks. She left the room shortly after, her scent disappearing as the door closed.

**Illinois, Chicago. – Six Months Later**

**Carlisle**

Illinois was a charming place to live.

I'd begun working at Northwestern Memorial Hospital about five and a half months ago, after I'd settled into my two bedroom house near the forests surrounding the city. Life returned to normal, just as it was before I'd met Esme, and my life and work continued, just as it had before.

I'd gotten used to the normality, I'd work at the hospital from eight until six, ten hours of my time was the least I could give to helping people, then I'd come home and re-read my medical journals, and I was thankful to that.

I'd seen a few outbreaks of flu and viruses in my time as a doctor, but I'd never seen an epidemic before, until about seven months into my time in Illinois. Spanish Influenza struck at our hospital, people were falling ill and dying left right and centre. I began working more than twelve hours a day, not that it bothered me or that I minded it, because Doctors and Nurses were becoming overworked and were becoming ill themselves. Being immune to the disease, I was more than happy to help out in any way I could.

"Doctor Cullen, Elizabeth Masen in room twenty three needs more medication." Nurse Jackson told me, her voice slightly muffled from the mask she wore.

I nodded in response and headed towards room twenty three. Upon arriving I realised that Elizabeth's condition had worsened, she didn't have long left to live. I remembered that her husband had been brought in when the Influenza first hit, he was very weak and didn't last long. Elizabeth had become worse as she tried to nurse her son, Edward Jr, from her own sickbed.

Her son was a few rooms away, his condition was better than his mothers, but I could still tell that he wouldn't last the next few days. It was such a waste. He was a young boy, only seventeen years old, and quite handsome, he had his mother's strange bronze hair and emerald green eyes.

"D-doctor." She croaked, her eyes opening and closing slightly every few minutes, she was drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness. "Save him. Save my Edward."

"I'll do everything in my power." I promised, sitting next to her bed as I read through her chart.

"No." She replied. "You must do everything in your power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward."

I was about to ask another question, about to ask how much she knew, when she closed her eyes for the final time. She was still breathing, but she wouldn't wake again. This would probably be her final few hours, and I wanted nothing more than to stay by her side, but I'd already been working for about fourteen hours, and the Doctors were becoming suspicious so I had to leave.

On the way home, I began wondering what Elizabeth Masen wanted me to do. No mother would want their child condemned to this life, surely. I wouldn't change the boy out of loneliness, that would be selfish, but his mother asked me to…

No. I had decided long ago that death would have been better… but if I had died I wouldn't have met Esme…

Was it possible, that this life was what Elizabeth Masen wanted for her son… and if I did change him… that he'd be happy…

_**So this is the latest chapter in "To die would be an awfully big adventure."**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to update, I've been super busy, but it's here now.**_

_**Thank you so much for all the reviews, they've been amazing. I love reading through every single one of them, and it gives me the confidence to write more.**_

_**Please review, they make me smile.**_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter nine**

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor ever will, own the Twilight Saga or its characters.

Summary: We've followed Bella's story in the books. Now it's time to see the Cullen's stories before Bella. Starting with Carlisle Cullen, their founder, their leader, and the soul of their coven. Following through Edward, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper.

"**A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one."**

Rita Mae Brown

**Carlisle**

Elizabeth Masen was a dying woman.

She would soon leave the world, if she had not already, and would orphan her only son, though he was close behind her. Elizabeth Masen knows my secret; she knows the creature that I am yet is not repulsed by it. In fact, she wants this life for her son.

It was unfathomable, for me at least, how a mother could want to damn her son to an eternity of daytime. You never sleep, never dream, you hunt to curve the monster within and, above all, for the first year, and sometimes longer, you desire nothing more than to slaughter innocent humans for their blood.

Elizabeth couldn't want this life for Edward, this mere shell of a life.

Maybe she's just scared of death, and doesn't want her own son to follow her into it.

Maybe she knows I'm on my own… looking for company.

Or maybe, just maybe, she believes that this life could be something for her son. Maybe Edward Jr could follow his dreams, although they could never be the same. Becoming a vampire, one like me anyway, changed your priorities, you had to think of the people around you and put their needs before your wants.

Edward could reject this life; he could hate me for damning him to an eternity of this. There was a tiny bit of hope inside me though, it clung to the thought that Edward could benefit from this life, he could do good and might even enjoy it.

I pondered my thoughts while walking around the hospital corridors, it was the end of my shift and I was supposed to have gone home a while ago to rest but I couldn't bring myself to leave, my thoughts were causing me to stay.

I stopped outside Elizabeth's room, my hand resting on the smooth wood of the doorframe as I looked through the glass window in the door. Elizabeth had only a few hours left when I'd seen her last, her thin face and matted bronze hair an image forever etched into my mind, but the weak, coughing man lying in the bed once occupied by her confirmed my theory.

Elizabeth was gone and Edward was alone.

"Edward Masen Jr doesn't have long left." A short nurse with blonde curls framing her pale face told me, her voice slightly muffled by the mask covering her mouth. "It's such a shame... such a waste." Although I couldn't see it, her kind eyes showed a small smile towards me before she entered the room to assist the man.

"Yes, a waste." I mumbled, my inner demons fighting for dominance over my choices.

A couple of doors down Edward Jr lay still in his bed; the only movement made was his shallow breathing and his hand, propped up on his elbow, reaching at nothing. I closed the door behind me, pulling the curtains across so no one would come barging in the room.

Edward's green eyes were dull and glassy as he stared at the ceiling, not looking at anything in particular. He had once been a very handsome young man but now, because the flu had struck and attacked him, his features were lined with sadness, a hollow emptiness in his eyes.

I tried placing myself into his shoes for a moment as I listened to his heartbeat thud uncertainly. I tried to imagine what it must be like for him; to be lying on your deathbed and watching your dreams fall from your grasp.

His fingers twitched and reached towards me, I took his hand hesitantly, my mind already sure of the selfish act I was about to commit. Leaning down I whispered softly to him; just trying to assure him that the pain I was about to bring, I didn't unload onto him without reason. "I'm sorry, son." I squeezed his hand softly, looking at his jugular for a moment, over two hundred years without savage blood lust, I wouldn't kill him.

My teeth sliced into his neck like a knife through butter, a small drop of the tempting liquid dashed onto my tongue before I pulled back. Putting my sleeve to my mouth and wiping the blood away, I watched as Edward's expression changed and became more pained with each passing second. He started thrashing; trying to his body of the poison that was racing through his veins.

I couldn't keep him here, in a matter of moments he would start screaming and eventually people would come running to see what was going on. I had to take him away, get him as far away from the hospital as I could; for his safety and the safety of the people residing in the building. I lifted Edward into my arms easily, I could tell a small scream would building within his throat; so I ran as fast as I could, leaving no trace that I had taken him.

"I'm sorry." I repeated, lying him down on the bed in the smaller room within the house. I had no use for it but it had come with the house and I was sure when I moved the people who moved it would find some use for it. "I'm sorry, Edward."

He screamed out, trying to fight the venom. I sat on the chair by the bed, horrified by my own selfish actions. What I had done to him was putting him through far more agony than any death could have done. Edward was burning inside by my hand and there was nothing I could do to ease his pain.

Thinking back to my own transformation I suppressed a shudder, nothing in my memory is more defined than the pain that it took to transform me. The venom moves sluggishly through your veins, making sure to wash over every inch of your insides before moving on the next point. It dripped like honey onto your heart, each drop more scorching than the next. And it wasn't only the burning to endure; all the while the venom is sneaking through your veins, the muscles inside you are twisting and changing, feeling like they were blowing up to burst when in reality they're still the same as they were before the transformation, only becoming stronger.

The thirst after the change wasn't as bad as the transformation, but it was frightening. To wake up in a world where you can see every scratch in the smallest shard of glass, or hear someone whisper your name from across a crowded room, is daunting enough, but the added scorch in your throat, a burn unlike the searing pain from your transformation, is what drives newborn vampires wild.

I kept no note of time as I watched Edward's change. Sometimes he would scream, and each time I would apologize, while others he would just move uncomfortably on the bed as the venom crept through his body. There were rare occasions when the pain wasn't as bad for him, when he would stop moving and listen to the noises in the room or look at me with his darkening green eyes.

Towards the end, though, his eyes stayed shut. The burning sensation went up and through your eyes before returning to other points but some of it would linger, turning your eyes from your natural colour to the bright red of a newborn vampire. I heard Edward's heart pick up, and knew it was almost over. It propelled quickly, beating faster and faster until eventually... it stopped. I waited, not breathing, for something to happen.

"Edward?" I asked, and he opened his eyes.

_**So this is the latest chapter in "To die would be an awfully big adventure."**_

_**Sorry it's taken so long to update, I've been super busy with mock exams and they finish next Thursday, but it's here now.**_

_**I wrote this chapter while in my RE class; so I apologize in advance if you feel it's too rushed, or if I have missed out any parts.**_

_**The next chapter will be better; there wasn't much I could do with Carlisle pondering whether to change Edward or not. I promise I'll try and make future chapters longer.**_

_**Thank you so much for all the reviews, they've been amazing. I love reading through every single one of them, and it gives me the confidence to write more.**_

_**Please review, they make me smile.**_


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